Rethinking

My life is full. Schedules overflow. Eight souls crowd every inch of my home and heart. These are the ones I love and live for.

I am a mother and lives are my occupation.

All this life requires management, routine, timetables, and lists. Lists! Boy, do I love lists. A list takes all this heart pounding, sweaty, driving, fearful, joyful mess out of the realm of chaos and into the objective office of pen, paper, and plans.
I will stay in control.
Control. Beware. There’s a wolf under her white clean coat of sufficiency.
Fatigue. Depression. Fear. Anger. Relationships strained. Sometimes to breaking.
When did the ones I love become secondary to my plans? When did the timetable meant to bring us to the thing we enjoy become the taskmaster at which all joy must bow?
It’s time to rethink.
This living. I want to do it well, not efficiently.
Plans rethought.
Purposefully
Living with those I love
As my
Needs are
Supplied by one mightier than I
Timetable rethought.
Time. Measuring my days by minutes and hours. Revolving in circles like a baton. Moon on one end, sun the other. Perfectly paced. They rise and set as He spins this globe on which I exist.
Table. He sets it before me. Spread full with His provision. Invites me to come. Eat. Enjoy. Even in the presence of enemies.
Lists rethought.
Loving His children
Inviting His presence
Seasons for working
Time for play
Soul-living
tuesdays unwrapped at cats

2 Comments

  1. Elizabeth

    I like the line about living well, not efficiently. What a great reminder.

  2. Misty

    "Control. Beware. There's a wolf under her white clean coat of sufficiency"
    what a profundity! and i love how you turn your plans/lists/desires into a way to glorfiy him. this is something i struggle with, too… that tension b/twn what i want to do or accomplish taking precedence over those i love and my daily act of worship. this is convicting, but in a really good way.

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