“Pleeeeeaaassse keep your hair down.”
Sam reaches for my hands as I try to pull back my hair into a ponytail.
“I need to pull it back, Sam.”
“Nooo. Please keep it down,” as he fluffs it up into the air.
He pulls it across my face and laughs, “You look like a squid!”
I don’t know how he gets a squid out of hair all over my face, but it doesn’t matter. His laugh is worth it.
“Sam, why don’t you want me to pull my hair back?”
I almost always wear my hair back when I’m home. It keeps it out of the way while I’m working, and I’ve always got plenty of work to do. I only wear it down when I’m ready to relax. Kick back. Let go. Or get pretty for a special occasion.
“You look mean when it’s pulled back.”
Mean? Really?
He fluffs it up in the air again. “You’re so pretty when it’s down.”
Might he mean happy?
His ten year old self seems to have identified the correlation between “happy, relaxed, loving momma” and letting my hair down.
I think it looks messy down, especially when I haven’t styled it. But I relent, and Sam snuggles close.
That’s how I want to spend this Christmas. Hair down.
The impending activities, mandatory “fun” and “to do” list are growing right before my eyes like the inflatable snowman we set up last night.
Everything in me wants to pull my hair back. Tight. I’ve got work to do!
But there have been too many years when it came January 1st, and I felt like I’d missed it. I’d been there in body, but always somewhere three steps ahead in mind.
I didn’t enjoy Christmas.
enjoy |enˈjoi|verb [ with obj. ]1 take delight or pleasure in (an activity or occasion): Joe Kim enjoys reading Icelandic family sagas Christmas stories to Sam.• (enjoy oneself) have a pleasant time: I could never enjoy myself, knowing you were in your room alone waiting for me to enjoy Christmas with you.• [ no obj., in imperative ] informal used to urge someone to take pleasure in what is being offered or is about to happen: Bake until the filling starts to bubble and the crust turns golden brown (that works). Enjoy!2 possess and benefit from: The security forces people who know the true meaning of Christmas enjoy legal immunity from prosecution the incessant demand to do it all.
I’m not waiting until New Year’s to make resolutions.
I’m resolving today to . .
ENJOY CHRISTMAS!
It might be messy, but Sam is snuggling close.
And it’s totally worth it.
God, thank you for . .1. a surprise note & birthday gift in the mail from a dear friend2. my birthday . . so thankful for this life3. my loving husband4. that I’ve known grace . . 5. . . and am learning to live in it6. Thanksgiving Day’s feast7. time with relatives8. the lifeline giving thanks can be9. listening to Ben (16) help our friend Stephen (7) with his homework10. watching Sam learn patience11. helping me hold my tongue12. mid-afternoon coffee13. new shelves in the pantry14. a husband who loves to make my life easier15. how a never ending “to-do” list = a full life16. Facebook photos of Daniel in Italy17. Daniel taking me with him through his travel diary18. the sun rising over the mountains19. that you are sovereign20. forgiving21. compassionate & gracious22. slow to anger23. rich in love
Kim, I am thankful to have known you and call you my friend. I really miss you. I am glad I can feel connected to you by reading your blog. I miss hearing your sweet soft voice.
I will never forget the story of Jeff coming home late at night while you were laughing at a scene in the movie "Room With a View"!
While reading your blog, sometimes I am surprised to read of your feelings and realize I am not alone in some of the struggles I go through. Thank you for "being there" for me and other women as we live each moment that God gives us. Love you Kim, Pam Gartman
Wonderful thoughts. So thought-provoking and inspiring. Love you, Tee
Oh Pam, It's wonderful to hear from you! Thank you so much for your words. You are NOT alone, and I am so blessed to know my words could help you know it! I don't remember the story you mentioned, but it sounds like it was a good one 🙂 Would you message me on Facebook and tell it?! XO
Thank you, Tee. I love you too! XO