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I thought I was finished. When three kids said “I do” in the space of just seven months, I thought they’d been launched and now I’d stand by quietly loving and cheering. But those days of gut wrenching, snot sobbing, heart pounding, prayer blasting parenting . . I naively thought those days were done.
I was crossing the finish line as they each heard the shot of the starting gun, clasped hands with their new love, and began the race.
Daniel & Hilary 6/1/13
Emily & Ethan 7/6/13
Josh & Kim 12/22/13
I was wrong. Kind of. They were being launched, but so was I. More like catapulted into an unexpected foreign world as a parent of adults.
What was I thinking?! That the heart that beat, bled, and would have died for my newborn would suddenly quit beating with all the passion and fight that had always determined its rhythm?
So I’ve been caught a bit off guard. I’m stumbling through this dance and its complicated new steps.
How to passionately love as I always have and then to step back when I’m so accustomed to rushing in?
How to be silent when I desperately want to solve all their problems with my oh-so-wise and experienced advice?
How to speak in faith when I have nothing to say?
How to pray and release and trust that our Father, the perfect parent, will still be there when I cannot?
Finished? Never.
Gut wrenching, snot sobbing, heart pounding, prayer blasting, wildly cheering, passionately in love?
Forever.
I humbly dedicate this post to Lisa-Jo Baker, the founder of Five Minute Friday. While Lisa and I are in different seasons of mothering, her passion and encouragement for mothers has inspired me to look back in thanks and forward in hope as I continue to embrace this high, holy, and humbling calling of mom. Lisa is passing the torch of this beautiful community on to Kate Motaung. Lisa, thank you for your heart, humor, and words! You bring a levity to mothering that engenders deep sighs, laughter, and joy, and I’m so grateful.
You will laugh, learn and fall in love with your kids all over again as you read Lisa’s newly released book Surprised By Motherhood.
I’m giving away a copy of Lisa’s book! Enter below (entries will be open through Friday, 8/1).
Hi! I am popping over from Five Minute Friday as your link up buddy. Wow! THREE weddings in such a short span of time. And isn't your story such the way of motherhood? Always trying to balance how much we should step in and how much we should leave them to figure it out. That balance becomes that much more delicate when they grow up and really do have their own lives.
Delicate is the word . . . and I can be so clumsy! I thank God for His grace and theirs. Thank you for visiting!
Wow! 3! And it's not like you could use the same dress for each because epic pictures were being taken. 🙂 But you made it. 🙂 IT is finished. 🙂 But yes, your momma job never does. (visiting from FMF)
Raquel, three new dresses was the fun part 😉 Thanks for visiting!
Amen, sista! I live right where you live, transitioning from making decisions for my children to advising and stepping back. From Mom to NiNi. Watching from the sidelines and then plopped back in the middle of the whirlwind with more voices, more opinions, more variety added to the mix. Life. L'clayim!
Ahhh, solidarity. Friendships like yours are such a gift, Kathleen! I'm so glad we've stayed connected all the way from baby days through grandma days! XO, friend.