I am easily overwhelmed. Not a good trait for a homeschooling mother of five intense boys, one adventurous girl and the wife of Superman, as my husband is affectionately called by our kids and who lives like it’s true.
Handling my own thoughts, weaknesses, emotions, and dreams is too much on most days. Add in seven more human beings that I love enough to die for, and overwhelmed hardly scratches my emotional state when I stop long enough to think about it.
Tonight was like that. We’ve come away to our family “beach” house. It’s really on the river but was christened “beach” twenty years ago by the oldest cousins, and it stuck. We came for just a few days for some respite from all the change going on in our lives. Our new home of just five months may prove to be temporary. New faces, friends, sports teams, church family, etc. are a joy and strain all at once. Emily and I are preparing for another trip as she begins her modeling/acting career. It hardly seemed a good time to get away. There’s so much to do. So much going on.
But we longed for familiarity in all this change. And the “beach” house holds twenty years of summer memories. So we came here and felt home. Hunting for shark teeth. Camp fire by the water. Movies. Books. Angelo’s pizza. Nutty bars and other junk food that we only buy here. Laughing more. Slowing down. Feeling more. And that’s where it gets messy. Overwhelming. And I realize.
I can’t do this. I can’t keep all these people happy. I can’t love them well enough to fill their hearts. Even here. Where life slows, and distractions disappear. Emotions still rise. Tears still fall. Hearts still ache for a love that can.
I think I feel even more helpless here. Because I see better. Hear better. Know better. That it’s true. I am not enough.
That reality frightens me. Or frees me. Fills me with feelings of futility and dread. Or surrender and hope. Breaks me. Or mends me.
Oh, God, help me hear beyond my failure and fear. To Your promise. Your truth. You. And know that I am a vessel not a source. Created for the honor and beauty of loving these. Fill me. Pour me. Use me.
I don’t need to be all. Just enough. I am not the painter of this picture. Just a pigment. A stroke. Applied precisely by the artist.
Overwhelmed, yes. But may it be by the grace that takes our mess and makes beauty.
Anywhere.
"Overwhelmed, yes. But may it be by the grace that takes our mess and makes beauty."
That is the idea right?
Agreed Amen.
amen. may you know His deep and abiding love and grace in the midst of it all…
oh, this brought tears to my eyes and encouragement to my soul. thank you.
God is good when he shows us how insignificant we are.
That was lovely.
there is beauty in the mess…my wife gets this way as well…will pass this on to her…i know she will appreciate…
in our weakness, He is strong. I too get easily overwhelmed, thank you for this reminder to stop straining so hard and to let God do what He is promised
"I am a vessel not a source." So true!! I get so overwhelmed at thinking that I need to do more, do better yet all He really calls me to do is love, love Him and others. "I don't need to be all. Just enough. I am not the painter of this picture. Just a pigment. A stroke. Applied precisely by the artist." LOVE THIS!
And yet it is so easy to put on my god shoes and run around trying to fill the ones i love so they can fill me in turn. So easy and so hard… I relate to this fellow joygirl. May your own Divinely inspired words written here soak deep into your heart and grow, bearing yummy peace fruit, especially if there are days of change ahead.
Beautiful writing. (I'm here from Emily's and am going to follow.) Somebody said I reckon you know God's in it if it's getting done when you can't do it in and of yourself. 6: whew…you're brave (AND blessed)! Hey you're almost 1/3 of the way to Duggarville! 🙂
"Be still and know that He is God." (Ps 46:10)
"For I know the plans I have for you…" (Jer 29:11)
>> Both verses that I have found comfort in recently in my unrest and moments of being overwhelmed. There is rest that comes in the assurance that HE KNOWs what He is up to.
"God is God. Because he is God, He is worthy of my trust and obedience. I will find rest nowhere but in His holy will that is unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what he is up to."
— Elisabeth Elliot
"I think I feel even more helpless here. Because I see better. Hear better. Know better. That it's true. I am not enough." I hate/love moments like these where He is all and I am not enough.
Beautiful and honest! There was a time when I desperately needed comfort, from the Lord more than anybody because of the situation our family was in…and He spoke to me…"Even if you were perfect, your children would still need Me"…and those words were enough to release me from much of the fear and overwhelm of my moment…I need Him…they need Him…your post reminded me of this sweet comfort, so I thank you!
My dear sister, to ourselves, "just enough" is more than we know and to others, it is more than they could have imagined. You are a bigger gift than you realize. Thank you.
I think I feel even more helpless here. Because I see better. Hear better. Know better. That it's true. I am not enough.
oh kim… how this resonated with me. i couldn't read enough; i found such comfort in your words… i am so easily overwhelmed too, and yet, it's in these moments that he becomes our strength, and we are forced to learn what it means to be a child all over again. love to you friend. xo
From one who is often overwhelmed, this spoke much to my heart. Thank you!