green monster jealousy and your cousin envy
you puff up and tear down simultaneously in my soul
someone else receives my accolades
why, what is wrong with me
humming siren songs of pride, purpose, and place
in these uncertain waters
you cast out promises of security and confidence
but what looks like a life ring is really an anchor
dragging
my
soul
down
deep
into
disillusionment, striving, and fear
drowning, gulping, grappling beneath these waters of comparison
my efforts to speak only result in choking . . slowly . . suffocating my soul
I ask myself, “And why am I doing this?”
green monster, little cousin
you’ve stolen my purpose, my motive, my heart
keep your cheap praise, your criticism, and condemnation
I’m swimming to dry land and the shores of humility
there my feet find level ground and stability
there I learn from my peers, no longer my rivals
there I create, dream, write, speak
in the clarity and warmth of the sun
goodbye green things
Kim I love the whole concept of this….it is beautiful! 🙂
i also love this..especially the last line "goodbye green things"
nice i like the decending form with that one line i tflows well and i too swim for that shore…smiles.
I, too, like the way you've used the form of your words to add physical punch to their meaning: "dragging my soul down deep into disallusionment."
I like your choice of analogy, too – "siren songs of pride, purpose, and place," "grappling with these waters of comparison," "swimming to… the shores of humility…"
I've been thinking about these "green things" myself, lately -and your writing here is full of truth, beauty, and inspiration.
I love the picture of jealousy as an anchor pulling us down into the waves, it really does feel like grappling for breath sometimes!
I like the vulnerability of this,and humility
"I learn from my peers, no longer my rivals"
What a joy to create with and learn from all of you blogger sisters and brothers! Thanks Kim
i a green.. by surname and temperment. oooh, it's a lovely color when it's divine but when it's focused on me, yikes. there is a lot to be learned and gleaned and rested in the shores of humility, my friend. or so i've heard. 🙂
big hugs.
Fabulously written truths! I've wrestled that green monster many a time…too many!
Elizabeth
http://www.justfollowingjesus.com
Wonderfully written!
Yes. . . "goodbye green things"
This has been a long time coming for me. It is a gift to learn your peers are no longer rivals because then, you find friends. . .
oh, i know these green things too well. this is so good, kim… and your longing for humility is such a beautiful thing. i join you in escaping the green and seeking the warmth of he who loves equal. love to you, friend. e.
"what looks like a life ring is really an anchor" So true! I struggle so much with this!
You've got a little bit of a concrete poem going on with the placement of the words "dragging my soul . . ," imitating the meaning.
". . . humming siren songs of pride, purpose, and place in these uncertain waters . . ."–Outstanding choice of words to creat an image we can hear and see.
So true–felt a bit of that this morning with my English colleague.
how i loved this line: "drowning, gulping, grappling beneath these waters of comparison". i have been there, have been soul-suffocated too. unfortunately, this happens much too easily for my liking. i love your beautiful words of confession, and restoration. thank you!
Thank you all. I'm excited to see how this poem is affecting you. I love it when our Father and Creator unmasks the deceiver. In His love, we experience such freedom to create for His glory and to rejoice in His creative spirit in our sisters and brothers!
Well this is slightly convicting and truthful and honest and vulnerable and absolutely widespread in all of humankind. Including me. I'm impressed with your ability to touch on something so REAL and so common. Good writing. Great thinking. 🙂